Narnoia scene The WordPress Chronicles

The WordPress Chronicles: Pt 1 Installation Frustration

Posted on Posted in Writing and Blogging, writing for Websites

I’ve built many websites. I’m not a professional. I still want professional looking results. Usually, I dive in with HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and mySQL. I get exactly what I want at the cost of a helluva lot of my time.

A friend said he could throw together a website in an afternoon using WordPress. I was intrigued.

He went on and on about how easy it was. I was very intrigued.

I looked into it.

Here’s the thing. People, in general, are not stupid. Yet, I found thousands of companies and consultants whose sole business is the creation of WordPress sites.


If it’s so damned easy, why do people pay other people to do it for them? One company quoted C$2500 for a site. They’ve been in business for quite a while. I assume that means they provide value for the price.

Is WordPress so easy?

Maybe not. Probably not.

Deb Helfrich suggested I write up my experience. Here it is. It’s unedited. It’s raw. (Well, I did remove most of the profanity.)

Kevin Pashuk suggested I keep a bottle of single-malt scotch at hand. I find that alcohol and learning new tech rarely go well together. This is the exception.

Kevin is CIO of one of the top schools in Ontario, Canada. Who am I to ignore his suggestion?

Glenfiddich it is!

A couple of links
Digging around, I found this instruction set for building a WordPress site. It did what I wanted or close enough. I plan to follow the instructions to the letter.

Later, I will go back and switch out images, add content, etc.

Thanks to NYC Tech Club for those instructions. There’s a YouTube video there too. It goes step-by-step through the instructions. Here’s the link.

How to Build a WordPress Website 2016 – New and Improved!

For you evil, twisted ones who want to see the site as it progresses it’s here:

Be warned. It’s a work in progress. It’s butt-ugly and most buttons don’t work yet.

A quick note

These chronicles describe my experience build a hosted WordPress site. This is not about building a place to blog on


The WordPress Chronicles Pt 1
May 12th, 2016

6:47 PM Installing WordPress. So far so good

7:05 It was going too well I guess. A required plug-in doesn’t seem to exist. I thought I installed it, but apparently not. I can’t find it when I search either. Not only is it not in the installed plug-ins list. I can’t even find it when I search through all plug-ins.

7:25 GlenFiddich #1.

7:27 Deleted the WordPress install and trying again. I got fed up of hunting for that plug-in!

7:39 Okay that worked. A complete waste of 45 minutes, though. I see where I went wrong. Once you install the theme, it tells you what plug-ins are required.

Don’t install them one at a time.

There’s a link to install all required plugins. Use that.

FYI: If you are following the instructions: Where it says

Step 10: Import Theme Settings
Once you’ve download the file go to Types > Click on Dashboard > Scroll down to the bottom and click on Import/Export
It should say Click on Dashboard> go to Toolset > Scroll down to the bottom and click on Import/Export
NYC Tech Club

7:53 After searching like a lunatic, I found out that the Lightbox Colorbox Plugin they say to use no longer exists. They actually mention that in the video on the instruction page. There’s no mention of that in the instructions.

What? Is it easier to edit video than text?

Anyway, I used the WP Colorbox instead. Let’s see what grief that causes me later.

8:00 I figured I’d just follow the instructions as-is and customize the site later. I’m trying to upload a bunch of images.

WordPress refuses to allow me to upload images in bulk. I may just have to figure out where WordPress stores them and FTP them over.

8:11 Screw it. I uploaded one at a time. That’s annoying. I figured it would be faster than finding where to dump them via FTP.

8:15 Out of curiosity I dug out the upload directory. DO NOT FTP IMAGES! WordPress stores them in several versions. It’s faster to upload one at a time rather than reformat them all for FTP upload.

8:39 Another typo, the favicon is not at “To upload your favicon, click on the General tab and just click to upload your image.” It’s on the Site title/tagline/logo tab

8:53 Chrome just locked up. Isn’t this fun? I don’t think it’s possible to get it done in one night, Scratch that. I know it’s not possible.

BTW: The instructions suggest logos at 50X50 pixels. The theme suggests 512X512. 50X50 looks like crap. 512 it is. Web guys always try to make images smaller so they load faster. With modern compression schemes like PNG that isn’t as important as it once was.

With upcoming Google rules for loading times, it may become important again. Your call.

9:03 I don’t like the square logo. I made a full-word one. It’s just the word Ghostwriter written in a creepy looking font. I’ll dress it up later. Let’s see what I screw up.

9:07 Remember when I said WordPress wouldn’t let me upload images in bulk? It changed its mind. Maybe there’s a User Frustration Sensor built-in? I uploaded 6 versions of the logo with no issue.

9:31 Loading the services offered is a strange process. The first one you add is the last one listed. That means the first one is on the far right. No, you can’t re-order them. I had to delete them and start over.

My graphic designer wife just pointed out that the site looks like shit.

Patience, Grasshopper, patience. (He said hopefully)

9:32 GlenFiddich #2.

My wife also pointed out that I forgot to include our Social Media Management service. Yes, I will be offering my Engagement System as a service. But, I want it to be on the far right.

That means I will have to delete them all and start over.

Shit, Glenfiddich #2.5.

10:41 The home page is half-assed finished. I have the Social sharing buttons in the wrong order. I assumed it was going to show in the same order as Services.

Silly me.

I haven’t figured out how to add beBee yet. I will, Catalina, I will.

It looks a little wonky. I’ll probably have to dig into the CSS to make it nicer.

That’s enough for now. I just might be able to finish this off tomorrow. That last bit I wrote made me giggle uncontrollably.

It’s not the slightest bit funny.

My wife thinks I’m losing my mind. She may be right. She usually is.

The GFI (Glenfiddich Frustration Index) is at three, or maybe four. Five?

I’m not much of a drinker. I think I lost count. I probably did.

I rarely get to bed before midnight but I’m feeling awfully sleepy.

G’night. I’ll start up again tomorrow, assuming I’m not too hungover.




I prefer beBee,  the platform that fits all your personalities. Come join me over there!



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